Category Archives: Life LOVE

So, I’m 40! I’m not too surprised that I’m embracing it with love, I have been working towards this acceptance after all. I wanted to ring in this next decade in a BIG way, so off to Northern Cali I went. My first three days were spent alone in the Redwoods between Carmel and Big Sur California, one of my favorite places. Landing in San Francisco around 12:30 my first stop was Baja Fresh for lunch. I can’t help it, ever since PFMan and I lived in Vegas, years ago, I have loved BF and don’t miss a chance to eat the veggie burrito. Then down the coast I go. HWY 17 is spectacular, a curvy, tree-lined drive, just breathtaking. I arrive in Carmel to do some shopping for my stay. I’m determined to go veggie while I’m here so I stock my cart with organic produce, strawberries, asparagus, & pistachios. I’ve brought my herbal teas from home as well, oh and chocolate with sea salt:-). I turn down Palo Colorado Rd. to head to Don Loui’s. This image above is the point where Palo Colorado Rd. meets the Pacific Coast Hwy. Turning off down Palo Colorado was magical. See I’m a dreamer in the sense that I love environments that transport me, and when you turn onto this road you are placed immediately into towering redwoods, like a land of fairies. You twist and wind amongst the quiet giants, houses placed into the sides of the mountains like they’ve been there forever, all blending in with the trees, completely part of the forest.

Here I have my bag of goodies, camera & backpack (which was packed in my luggage and now used to haul only the few items I’d need for this portion of my trip), and up the mountain I go. Not too bad, about five steep switchbacks, with little treasures at every corner. Then the Dragon House appears, unbelievable! I’m through the Dragon house tunnel and onto the Rainbow House where I’m staying. Don, the innkeeper, is an eccentric. He’s been on this property since 1983. Then it was him, the land and a tent. The Rainbow house he built first. Yes, him and his son. Previously he was a contractor and landscaper by trade and it shows. Today there are 4 buildings, The Rainbow & Dragon House (rentals), his own home and an octagon above the rest with windows looking out over the mountain and Pacific Ocean, used for yoga and/or meditation. Beautiful, peaceful! He’s created many trails all around the property as well.

Though I highly recommend staying here alone, as a couple or small family, this is not for everyone. Forget a warm shower and none at all in the Rainbow House. Luckily I like going rough and dirty, ha. There is no oven and only a propane burner for stove top, and it’s QUIET (aside from the very loud frogs and owls at night:-). I like to think of the house like a tree house on crack, seriously! And since I like being transported, it was perfect for me, like a kid again.

So what’s a girl to do all alone in the mountains? Hike, hike, eat at her favorite restaurant in Big Sur, play words with friends, ha, take lots of pictures and hike some more. To my chagrin there was no big AHA moment or anything, just time with myself which in itself is a BIG deal for me. In my past being along has been very difficult. A good friend of mine text-ed me while there questioning how I was doing alone. He said he talks to himself a lot when alone, lol. Me too:-). And I did, much of it in my head, some out loud. But I was comfortable with it, the oneness, and that’s a BIG deal!

Please enjoy some of the many photos I took while on this part of my trip and look for a post on me joining the girls in Wine Country soon:-)!

Peace!

Previous trip to Big Sur with my honey:-)!

I’m deliriously excited!  Arriving in San Francisco in 17 hours! I’m completely embracing turning 40 in NINE days and I’m starting off the celebration with some personal time in Big Sur, CA, all alone in the trees then I’ll join some of my very best girlfriends three days later for some time in wine country!  This is not my first time here, but I can’t get enough of Northern California, the coast, the country, the unbelievable availability of fresh, locally produced foods.

Right now I have no idea how exactly I plan on spending my alone time, as this is somewhat uncomfortable for me. Rain is predicted on Tuesday and Big Sur is not a place you want to be tooling around in a possible downpour, so I’m planning on spending the day in. The house I’m staying in, The Rainbow House, is a 10 minute or so hike up a steep incline in the trees and I’ve been told that a pack on your back with all food and clothes needed is recommended. Ok then. A quick stop in Carmel on my way there will provide me with all my provisions. I’ve loaded up my I-tunes and Kindle, packed lots of hot tea and a rosemary/mint candle, I’m ready!!

Thursday morning I head back up to San Francisco to pick up my girlies at the airport and we head up to Guerneville, Russian River area! See I’m not a Napa girl. I love the Russian River, Guerneville, Healdsburg, and Sonoma. We have a beautiful home in the hills there. Friday I’ve scheduled a bike ride through Healdsburg stopping at four wineries and a picnic lunch in between and the Saturday we’ll spend some time at MacLeod Family Vineyard again, a private tasting in the vineyard then onto Sonoma Plaza for lunch at Girl and the Fig. After lunch we’ll continue onto some of my faves like Viansa and Cline.

Sunday We’ll breathe deeply in Jenner. The coast here is unforgettable! Ahhhh….!!!

Times Up!
This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Amelia in one of her happy places.

This is so difficult! After a week of stuffing Amelia with five different medications and force feeding her every 2-4 hours there is no improvement, instead she’s worsened. She’s so weak, still getting up to go to litter box but not making it out of it. She pees herself and then collapses for rest. I grabbed her out and gave her a warm sponge bath this morning.

This decision is killing me, I’ve chosen to discontinue the nasty med routine and let her go, though part of me feels like I’m taking away the only thing that might be extending her life. But for what? She doesn’t seem to be in any pain, so I make a point to spend quality time with her, setting her up next to me on the couch in cozy blankets with her bowl of water in front of her. This seems to comfort her, she lays her head in it and periodically licks some up like one of those bobbing bird things. Last night Murdock came to lay with us in bed, not with her, with me, but this put him right next to her and he purred loudly. I think she liked this, she tried to nudge a bit closer. It was sweet. The waiting game is just as hard, when will she pass? Today, tomorrow? Soon…. The thought of finding her, I so hope it happens with me nearby, as hard as that will be.

For now, I’ll sit here and pet her bony body and talk to her and wipe her chin when she’s had enough water and love her.

The weeks move too quickly. My mom always talked about time moving so fast, all I could think was when will this semester be over already! Now I understand, and it get’s worse every year. These last two weeks have been crazy busy and stressful. Jam packed with homeschooling activities and a beloved kitty that is very ill and under constant care by PFMan and I. To top it off, we’ve been getting the house ready for our House Warming party this coming Saturday. We have just over 100 people who have RSVP’d and the stressing has begun, lol. Another thing my mom always said, still does is “This too shall pass”, and it will. I just wish it didn’t pass so quickly.

I’m always working on trying to stay as present as possible, this is so difficult for me, strong ego always in the way. I’ll keep trucking along. I’d love to know what other do to stay present, slow down time, any suggestions?

Peace!

Times Up!
This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Amelia June 2011

I remember going to pick her out. She was one of five kittens that were born to a momma cat that had been brought into The C.A.R.E. Foundation, the Animal Sanctuary I volunteered at in Orlando. I went alone, Michael and I had been married for just two years and this would be our 2nd kitty together. I picked the long haired calico over the tortoise shell. The litter was born on Easter morning 1998 which has always made it easy to remember her birth date.

It took us a while to name her and I remember exactly where we were when the name was chosen. We were camping at Ginny Springs with a group of friends and were sitting around the fire at night throwing name ideas around. One had been Marseilles after the Jimmy Buffet song “Coast of Marseilles”. Then it came to us, “Amelia”. It’s a street in Orlando, the street that Michael and I were on when our relationship took a more serious turn back in June of 1994. That was it, she had a name.

I’m writing this now because she’s turning 14 in April and she’s very sick, so sick she may not make it to her birthday. Those who know me are aware that we have eight kitties, the seniors, Murdock (16), Amelia (these two have been boyfriend/girlfriend for like ever until recently, so sad), Nelson (14 April) & Roswell (14 April) and the newer additions, Jenny (5), Matilda (2) , Carmello (2) and Harry (9mth).

Amelia, along with the other seniors, Laslo, Yoda, and Truffles, made a cross country trip twice with us when we moved to Las Vegas and back in 1999/2000. Amelia has lived in six different homes with us, has been more of a recluse, especially around strangers, but very sweet and affectionate around us. Always the pretty girl, Murdock’s girlfriend. They would sit together for hours, grooming each other, curled into a ball and sleeping together. It’s sad that they’ve parted ways, more on Murdock’s end then Amelia’s. Since she’s been sick she’s tried to snuggle with him and he walks away, it’s sad to watch. He’s been sick too, just not as critical as her. He has a tumor in his liver, but for now he’s a skinny, spunky old man, ha.

Right now Amelia is being force-fed every 4-6 hours and on five different medications. Not sure if it’s cancer or not, definitely some type of internal infection or inflammation around the liver. Fatty liver, loss of appetite, dehydration. Hopeful that this week she’ll improve or we’ll have to make a tough decision. See, I don’t believe in making them live being poked, prodded, stuffing a food syringe and pills in their mouths daily. Just not a quality of life. I can’t have her last days like that. So I’m holding out hope that she’ll turn around this week.

It’ll be a rough couple of years with so many getting so old. We’ve already lost Laslo, May off 2011, one of the brothers (Laslo, Nelson, Yoda and Roswell). Yoda left us years ago.

Hardest part of caring for them and loving them so much.

The PFFamily in Key West - May 2011

I was up pretty late last night, four glasses of wine not settling well in my belly. I read, actually finished my current book, A Modern Witch, and then turned to my I-phone for a little research on a couple of things I wish to begin in the new year.

Last year around this time I posted about how I’m really not into making New Year’s Resolutions. I still refuse to put that much pressure on myself, but I do have a laundry list of things I’d like to do, change, see, stop doing, etc.

Before I begin my list for 2012, let’s see how I did in 2011.

Things I will be working on in 2011:

Family – Feel good about this. We moved to the country and began homeschooling, lot’s of family time.
Travel – Good here too. We began our yearly family trip overseas with Ireland in March, road trip over the summer along with nine days in N. California with PFMan celebrating an early 15 year anniversary. We took two cruises with a highlight on one out of San Juan, taking us to Curacao, Dominica & Aruba. To round it out, we also took a couple of much needed camping trips, one to North Georgia, one to Ginnie Springs in North Florida. Ahhhh….
Positive energy & intentions – This a failed miserably, well not entirely because I still have intent and know my triggers to self destruction.
Eating clean -Did well for a few months only. I did really well with giving up coffee and drinking more tea. Got to August then crashed. Have to reboot this one.
Organization – This will be a never ending battle, lol.

So what about 2012?

There are many personal accomplishments I would like to achieve this year. In the kitchen I want to learn how to make Thai and Indian food, get better at meal/menu planning and stocking the kitchen, learn to make bread, start canning regularly, shop at farmer’s markets and from local ranches and farms more often and consistently. This year is the year to get the chicken coop and run built, I’d like to have 3-5 egg layers:-). Also, get the hydroponic garden started and plant the Meyer lemon trees. We’re thinking things like, sweet potatoes, lettuce, strawberries, green beans, tomatoes, cucumbers and herbs at least. Going along with natural/sustainable trend we need to get the compost reinstated too!

Other Personal plans: Begin yoga and stick with it, it WILL be tough for me but I must prevail. Part of the Self-help, positive energy & intentions theme. Thinking about Tai Chi as well. Michael and I will get bikes, the kids are just getting them on New Years Eve (we’re celebrating our family Christmas when we return from NY).

In the house we need to get the great room painted and focus on the meditation garden off the master bedroom and Asian decor in the master bedroom/bathroom. I need to get the studio organized too, both the Tails Collection shooting/office areas, as well as organizing the arts/crafts area for Addy and I. There is so much space to work with, so I will most certainly get a bit overwhelmed, ha.

Travel plans! To start off the year and celebrate my 40th b-day, I’m heading to Big Sur for three nights! Doing a hike-in and staying ALONE, to reflect and get centered, hopefully, ha:-). Then driving north to meet my girlfriends for some time in wine country. The kids and I have a 6-8 week road trip planned for the June/July. Heading back to Big Sur, taking 2ish weeks to get there, stopping in AL, LA, TX, AR, UT and CO. PFMan will meet us out west for a 10 day California Adventure, then the kids and I will head back. I CAN’T wait!! And cross our fingers for Vienna/Paris for the Holidays.

Now I realize this is super loaded, these are just top priorities, which change, we tend to be indecisive at best, or as I like to say, Perfectly Flawed. Some things may not happen, others may be added, but at the end of the day or year, it will all be another super adventure, surrounded by my PFFamily and that makes me smile.

Happy New Year everyone!
Buon Anno!
Ein glückliches neues Jahr!
Feliz año nuevo!
Bonne année!

As we get ready to leave this afternoon to spend the Christmas Holiday with my parents in Yonkers, NY, I sit here remembering last Christmas. We were sill in the St. Petersburg house and it was one of the very few years since the kids were born that we’d spent the Holiday’s at home. It was nice being home for the holiday’s, our kitties rummaging through all the ripped up paper and ribbon, Santa coming to our house, being able to decorate and enjoy it the whole season through.

This year, we are now in a new home in Bradenton, a beautiful new home in the country. We’ve decorated and so far the kitties haven’t taken to the tree, not even Harry, the new baby. We’ve booked the pet sitter and are flying into NY tonight, tomorrow we’ll be walking around NYC, high 50′s and sunny, should be very comfortable. Chance of snow this year is slim, rain is forecast instead, so now it’s all up to the temperatures. We get to visit my sister’s new house on top of a hill in New Jersey. She says they have deer in the yard almost daily:-). She’s in a serious relationship with a wonderful man from Norway, so a big Norwegian feast is to be had on Christmas Eve. Really looking forward to this! Love experiencing new cultures. Mema & Pop Pop get to spend time with the kiddo’s, and we get to see nana. There will be antipasti, a trip to Arthur Avenue for an Italian Dinner, Eggplant Parmigiana for Christmas dinner, Michael will make is yummy brie and prosciutto French toast, Christmas movies and….

For now, some images from Christmas 2010.

Yep, I guess we all do, here’s mine. Over the last year and a half I’ve built some walls. I’ve never had walls before, but something happened and I was hurt once too many times and they went up. I never even understood when people told me they had walls, I understood what that word represented, but I couldn’t understand how they couldn’t move past it, break it down. Now I do and I hate it. The wall, though initially was built as a barrier from a couple has now risen taller and is invading things in my life I don’t want it to touch. I feel incapable of busting through it. I feel suffocated, sad, yet have so much to be happy and joyful about. I’m trying to breathe, let things pass to no avail. I have emotions that though I feel them swelling, the need for them to bust out, I can’t seem to physically allow them to. What the heck? I used to be this open book of emotions and now they are all tied up inside me, causing this wall to grow. Is the first step acknowledgment, because I have that down?

Times Up!

This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

I can’t help but look back at PFMan and I’s trip to Northern California this past July. We went to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary, a bit early. I’m planning on going back in February to mark 40 years here on earth. Can’t think of a better way then to be surrounded by girlfriends, sipping wine, hiking in the redwoods, biking through wine country, etc.

PFMan had such an amazing trip. We did all of the above, took an incredible pedal ‘n paddle tour in Healdsburg, a town we absolutely LOVED! We booked the excursion through Getaway Adventures, our guide Tommy was super personable, knowledgeable on the wine growing process and the area. We started with a bike tour leaving from the Alexander Valley Campground, through the beautiful countryside filled with vineyards, first stop Robert Young, AMAZING wine here! This was one of three wineries we became members at and one of our favorites of the trip. Their Chardonnay is so rich and creamy! Then we headed to de Lorimier. Also good, but the highlight here was the beautiful pergola under which Tommy had set-up a seriously yummy spread of meets. cheeses, homemade salads, etc. Sweet! Time to sit back, relax before heading out the the Russian River for our 5-mile kayak trip back to the campground. A wonderful day, I highly recommend it!

So that was just one day, we also met with some very good friends, who in previous years had moved to N. California, for some trippin’ through wine country. It’s hard to pick a favorite day, but this one ranked high. On a friend of Wendi’s recommendation we ended up at Viansa. OMG! LOVE! This was our favorite vineyard/winery of the whole vacation. It felt like we had stepped off the train in Tuscany. The wines, every one we tasted, were all amazing, of course we became members, ha. They also have a large selection of marmalade, honey, sauces for everything and very unique I must say. I walked away with Truffled honey, and Chardonnay Carmel sauce. You can easily picnic here. They have a deli of sorts with packaged meats, cheeses, salads, and fresh baquettes. We grabbed a bottle of wine, an assortment of noshing grub and headed out to a table. This was one of the best lunches ever. Great friends, beautiful view, great food! Then we moved onto Cline Cellars and the goodness never ended.

We simply had way too much fun on this vacation. We spent a total of nine days in N. Cali, six of those in Wine Country, three nights in Guerneville (Russian River area, Redwoods – Hello!) and three nights in Sonoma, on the Plaza. We stayed at the El Dorado Hotel, right across the Girl and the Fig restaurant, a favorite of mine! We were also able to make it over to Bodega Bay, (Alfred Hitchcock – The Birds). Wowzer, COLD! But we had some super splendid clam chowder soup at the Spud Point Crab Co. and took the stunning drive up the coast to Jenner Beach. Watched the sea lions basking in the sun and playing in the water, took a nap in the car at Goat Rock, a walk in Armstrong Woods…. Enough said!

Other places we enjoyed immensely!

Willow Wood Market Cafe in Graton, Ca! – In the area? You must stop here.
The MacLeod Family Vineyard – I’ve been here twice now and will be going again. Call and make an appointment for a tasting/tour, you won’t regret it! Here’s a bit on the Vineyard when I went with my girlfriends this past February, this is becoming a trend:-).
Harvest Moon Cafe (just love the name) The ambience and food were both very good – in Sonoma on the plaza.
Spoonbar at Hotel Healdsburg!
Zazu – Farm to table in Sonoma
Also – The first three days of our trip were spent in Big Sur, you can check that out HERE!

Peace!