Tag Archives: cats

Murdock and Amelia - The lovebirds:-)

Matilda

Warning…. This is a rant, a rage and will be negative in tone at times as well as endearing!

It may just be the phases of grief, I’m in denial, deeply upset, emotional and have an incredible amount of anger built up over the probable loss of our kitty Matilda. This is where some reading this will stop and say “Oh good grief about a cat again?”  YES it is. See, I’m one of those that has deep feelings towards my pets, and though I’ve always known that not all people share these feelings, living out here in the country I’m surrounded by more people now who see animals as a means to an end, a way of life, as working animals, not as creatures that can give and receive real love. It’s not hard for me to understand how they come to feel this way but I wish some understanding was allowed for the way I feel about them too. Matilda has been gone for six nights now, living out here with the coyotes (of which I haven’t seen or heard yet, but I’m told are here), the bald eagles (which DO on a regular basis swoop in and take whole chickens from our farm neighbors yard), and other predators, the likeliness of her coming home is slim. This compounded with just having put down our Amelia, of 13 years, only five weeks ago, and then our Murdock (16, our first kitten together before we were married and mama’s boy) lost his battle with cancer yesterday, I’m at my limit, to say the least!  This has been an incredibly difficult week for the family. Matilda is three, she was the kids first kitten.   Addy picked her out at Pet Pal Animal Shelter. Then her name was Heather,  she would let Addy carry her around endlessly and would lick Addy’s hands and face.  Her hair like a bunnies, so soft and this dark black chin strap marking that reminded me of the penguin. She was our kitty with Catittude, was really good at giving the”F-you” or “WTF do you want?” glare and then at night she’d curl up in whichever lap was available and fall into a deep sleep, totally content, peaceful.  But she was a free spirit and craved the outdoors, she started missing a meal hear and there to prolong her time outside. We were gifted with a squirrel, a bird and a lizard in just the short time we’ve been living here.  Always so proud of herself.  We fought over what to do with the cats when we moved, knowing the possible consequences of allowing them to go outside, knowing about the dangers that linger just pass the fence line and some within.  We decided it wasn’t right to keep them locked up if they so badly wanted to be free,  that  we’d have to be ok with our choice.  But I can’t scream loudly enough that even though we made that decision it absolutely DOES NOT make this any easier, in fact, with a personality like mine, I just go through the guilt of not doing my job of protecting her. Oh yes I do. I will at times blame myself for this, so I don’t need anyone judging me for letting her explore, though they will, have, and in lack of knowing what to say have judged out loud.  I know they meant no harm, but seriously, I’ll beat myself up enough.  I  stare out the windows see her in the shadows, I hope to see her just walk up suddenly, see her head staring at me to let her in, like she did.  God how I miss her face!! I’m not sleeping, I cry all the time, I’m literally sick about it! The sadness of missing her is hanging over the family like a thick fog.  If she’s not home by Sunday we’ve decided to have a small family service for her by the fire pit just to bring some closure, to begin the healing process.  We can think positive and say maybe another family took her in, I’d like the kids to think so anyway.  I know, like our neighbor said so bluntly “Oh, you’ll never see that cat again”.  Only I’ll keep hoping we will.

I just want those that don’t share mine and so many others deep love and emotion for our beloved pets to know that there are those who do have these feelings and to us losses like this are tremendous, can be debilitating, are not funny or easily dismissed. We take it like a loss of a family member because that’s what they are to us, I know, silly?  Not to people like me. Please, please try to respect our grief as we respect what animals are to you.

I’m just terribly missing my kitties!

Amelia in one of her happy places.

This is so difficult! After a week of stuffing Amelia with five different medications and force feeding her every 2-4 hours there is no improvement, instead she’s worsened. She’s so weak, still getting up to go to litter box but not making it out of it. She pees herself and then collapses for rest. I grabbed her out and gave her a warm sponge bath this morning.

This decision is killing me, I’ve chosen to discontinue the nasty med routine and let her go, though part of me feels like I’m taking away the only thing that might be extending her life. But for what? She doesn’t seem to be in any pain, so I make a point to spend quality time with her, setting her up next to me on the couch in cozy blankets with her bowl of water in front of her. This seems to comfort her, she lays her head in it and periodically licks some up like one of those bobbing bird things. Last night Murdock came to lay with us in bed, not with her, with me, but this put him right next to her and he purred loudly. I think she liked this, she tried to nudge a bit closer. It was sweet. The waiting game is just as hard, when will she pass? Today, tomorrow? Soon…. The thought of finding her, I so hope it happens with me nearby, as hard as that will be.

For now, I’ll sit here and pet her bony body and talk to her and wipe her chin when she’s had enough water and love her.

Amelia June 2011

I remember going to pick her out. She was one of five kittens that were born to a momma cat that had been brought into The C.A.R.E. Foundation, the Animal Sanctuary I volunteered at in Orlando. I went alone, Michael and I had been married for just two years and this would be our 2nd kitty together. I picked the long haired calico over the tortoise shell. The litter was born on Easter morning 1998 which has always made it easy to remember her birth date.

It took us a while to name her and I remember exactly where we were when the name was chosen. We were camping at Ginny Springs with a group of friends and were sitting around the fire at night throwing name ideas around. One had been Marseilles after the Jimmy Buffet song “Coast of Marseilles”. Then it came to us, “Amelia”. It’s a street in Orlando, the street that Michael and I were on when our relationship took a more serious turn back in June of 1994. That was it, she had a name.

I’m writing this now because she’s turning 14 in April and she’s very sick, so sick she may not make it to her birthday. Those who know me are aware that we have eight kitties, the seniors, Murdock (16), Amelia (these two have been boyfriend/girlfriend for like ever until recently, so sad), Nelson (14 April) & Roswell (14 April) and the newer additions, Jenny (5), Matilda (2) , Carmello (2) and Harry (9mth).

Amelia, along with the other seniors, Laslo, Yoda, and Truffles, made a cross country trip twice with us when we moved to Las Vegas and back in 1999/2000. Amelia has lived in six different homes with us, has been more of a recluse, especially around strangers, but very sweet and affectionate around us. Always the pretty girl, Murdock’s girlfriend. They would sit together for hours, grooming each other, curled into a ball and sleeping together. It’s sad that they’ve parted ways, more on Murdock’s end then Amelia’s. Since she’s been sick she’s tried to snuggle with him and he walks away, it’s sad to watch. He’s been sick too, just not as critical as her. He has a tumor in his liver, but for now he’s a skinny, spunky old man, ha.

Right now Amelia is being force-fed every 4-6 hours and on five different medications. Not sure if it’s cancer or not, definitely some type of internal infection or inflammation around the liver. Fatty liver, loss of appetite, dehydration. Hopeful that this week she’ll improve or we’ll have to make a tough decision. See, I don’t believe in making them live being poked, prodded, stuffing a food syringe and pills in their mouths daily. Just not a quality of life. I can’t have her last days like that. So I’m holding out hope that she’ll turn around this week.

It’ll be a rough couple of years with so many getting so old. We’ve already lost Laslo, May off 2011, one of the brothers (Laslo, Nelson, Yoda and Roswell). Yoda left us years ago.

Hardest part of caring for them and loving them so much.

April 1998 - May 3rd, 2011

He was the needy one. He came to us in a bundle of four brothers. I was volunteering at a large cat Sanctuary in Orlando at the time, 1998, and our Compound Cat had a litter of kittens. We couldn’t find them for a couple of weeks, thought them to be dead, mama went in to be spayed, we found the babies. Michael and I took them in, dirty, matted, one had a badly injured eye, (he would later be named Yoda). Laslo, (from Real Genuis in case you were curious), was the needy one. He tried to suckle on his brothers, did this well into his 2nd year. We lived in a loft apartment while we were bottle feeding the kittens. Laslo had bad balance and twice fell from the loft to the coffee table below. OMG, freaked me out! He was fine. A little over a year later, we loaded them (and our 3 other kitties) up in the car and moved them all out to Las Vegas. We road tripped with our seven kitties in 5 days and as many hotels and then road tripped back a year and a half later.

Laslo was the needy one. The pawer, “hey, I’m down here”, he’d say, “I need you”. When you called any other cat, it’s Laslo who came running, belly swinging side to side. “I need you”! He’d curl up with lovebirds Murdock and Amelia, the three Musketeers I called them, now there are two, they can have alone time.

Thirteen this past April, not too old, not young. He was thinning, recently stopped eating. Liver, kidney, mouth injury?? It all happened so quickly, just in the last couple of weeks. Nope, none of the above. A mass on the x-ray surrounded by fluid, lots of trouble breathing, no prognosis is good.

You don’t go to the vet thinking you’ll have to make that kind of decision right then, no time to think, complete confusion, he’s suffering, trouble breathing, could die overnight of respiratory distress, put him down peacefully, kids are with me, PFMan on his way.

Goodbye Laslo. I write this to remember you, to never forget, you were the needy one. We love you!

Peace now.

It all began when I was in Middle School, my love of taking pictures.  Once in High School, I was taking photography classes, working in the darkroom, taking pictures for the school newspaper and yearbook.  My dad had the big SLR camera with all the different lenses and I used it more then he did, lol.  It’s just been something I’ve loved to do for as long as I can remember.

I didn’t begin to see it as a career until much later.  In fact it was only four years ago that I knew I wanted to make it more then a serious hobby.  Tanya Sharkey Photography was born on March 1st of 2008.

We opened a studio location on May 1st of 2009 in St. Petersburg, FL where we specialize in modern pet and children portraiture.  Yes, these are two challenging subjects, but I’m a high energy, whirlwind of a personality so it’s fitting.  I’ve also spent most of my working career either working with or volunteering with animals.  I was a Biology major and worked as an assistant to a veterinarian for several years as well as volunteered at a large cat sanctuary in Orlando where we would educate the public about the needs of these wild animals, etc.  So, it’s really a natural fit that my specialty is pet photography.  I love every minute of it!!

Photographs of my family, friends, pets, our travels and experiences together, have always been very important to me. I love to have them on display all over our home for us and others to enjoy always. I have over 12 scrapbooks as well. Preserving these memories for my clients is just as important and it feels so amazing when my clients light up at viewing the images. It’s a feel good all around!

I continue to photograph things for hobby as much as possible to keep my spirits fresh.  I love to photograph flowers. I also take pictures of kitties whenever I’m on vacation. I can’t help it, I’m a cat lady:-).

There are BIG plans for TSP in the coming years, I’m a dreamer you see. Some will pan out and be a huge success and others will sit out. Regardless of what happens, it will be challenging and fun along the way!

Please enjoy some images above from recent sessions.

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They are baby making machines. Just one pair of cats and their kittens can produce 420,000 babies in just seven years. So please, unless you want a “clowder” of cats in your home, spay and neuter your furry friends.

Happy Monday to you!