Tag Archives: SOC

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: What causes you anxiety? Not just stress but true anxiety. How does your body and mind generally deal with it? How do YOU deal with it?

Oh goodness, really? lol.  Ok, well it’s not news to those close to me that I’ve struggled with anxiety for years, like 20 or so of them.  I think it all started with my concern for the treatment of animals, the need/desire to want peace in the world, those kind of things.  I used to take a ton of Bach Flowers Rescue Remedy and other natural anxiety relievers.  It worked for a while. My symptoms were a severe struggle with breathing, heavy feeling on chest, I couldn’t swallow, breathe, felt like I’d choke, almost did a few times. I was brought to the emergency one night, checked for asthma, NOPE.  Then to rule out anything physical I was sent to have my esophagus checked with a Barium Swallow, nice. And no, nothing wrong. Yep, all in my head, great!  I caved about 5 years ago and began taking real drugs, I so didn’t want that to happen, but the panic attacks escalated to a level I could no longer control with breathing techniques. This is after over 10 years with alternative methods. I’ve since gone off and on twice and currently I’m off, have been for over a year and I’m ok.  Things that bring on anxiety now?  Well, I still want to save the world, lol, but really it’s stuff like past family issues that I’m still struggling with, learning to love & forgive, etc.  Also having a to do list several lifetimes long and just this short time to get to them all, stuff like that.

Peace!

Times Up!
This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

This weeks Fadra asks: What are some things you wish you could blog about but can’t?

I guess one could list one of many things that most are cautious to talk about, religion, race, politics, strong worldly or local issues. Truthfully, of the topics I’ve thought to write about, there isn’t one I haven’t, yet. I don’t know that there is a topic that I’m passionate about that I wouldn’t find comfortable speaking or writing about. I can’t say. I probably won’t write about religion in the text that one is supreme over others, but I may talk about one in particular, if I’m learning about, find it interesting, etc. I probably won’t talk about race, very sensitive and I don’t personally have a reason to discuss it, but others might and I hope they do so that I can read it and have the opportunity to educate myself on another perspective. We all have different reasons for writing our blogs, so what one writes about and how far you take things are greatly dependent on each individual blogs lean. I for one think it’s important for us to share differing opinions for this is how we grow and become capable of empathy, sympathy, we need to hear others stories to help us not judge. I know I don’t always agree with others, but many times when listening or reading these opposite opinions, it’s helped me to understand their view point, why they see it that way, even if I don’t agree with it I may now be able to respect it and be less upset by it. I will continue to put out there my way of thinking in the most sensitive way I can, because I know there are others out there that either feel the same way I do and haven’t found the words or there are others who may be leaning towards a new viewpoint for better understanding and maybe I can help them find it. I think we’re all in more trouble if we stop communicating.

Peace!

Times Up!
This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

I’m chomping at the bit to write about a couple of things today, but Fadra’s prompt is, “How do you feel about where you live?”, and I have opinions about this too, so here we go.

My family moved to Florida when I was four. Aside from a short stint, 18 months, in Las Vegas with my husband, I’ve lived here since then. There are a lot of things to love about Florida, the beautiful beaches, flip flops all year, we don’t have to shovel snow or scrape ice off our car windows. For me though, I’ve never gotten used to the humidity at the levels we have. I soooo dread the summers, this one more than others as we’ve had NO winter this year and we hit 86 today, UGH. When we lived in Vegas, even when it was in the 90′s I could handle it because of the low humidity levels, you could go into the shade to escape, you can’t here. There are some who love the warm, wet blanket that wraps their body as they step outside four to six months out of the year, not me.

A couple of years ago we were set on moving to Colorado, the mountains, we love mountains, mountain lakes, streams, etc. That didn’t work out, still here, we found a wonderful house in East Bradenton on seven acres. We’re surrounded by old Florida, lots of beautiful oak tress dripping with moss, they’re lovely when the sun shines through. It’s so quiet out here and our neighbors are organic dairy farmers/ranchers. Such a great addition to our already natural lifestyle. This is our compromise until it’s the right time to say goodbye to Florida.

Ultimately for me, home is where my husband, two children & our furry babies are, on the road, here, anywhere, as long as we’re together.

Times Up!
This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

I haven’t yet used any Fadra’s optional topics of the day, but this one I can’t pass up: Where are you lacking trust in your life? (examples: church, government, work, family, etc.)

This past week I’ve been very emotional, mostly due to the rollar coaster ride of feeling of my cat Matilda disappearing for six days and my old man kitty having to be put down on on Wednesday. It would be an understatement to say I was a basket case.  Well, in this emotional state I talked to a couple friends and my hubby about the state of the country, mostly the state of our food supply because it at time enrages me.  I’ve educated myself for years about our food, it’s a really long story that I will only touch on, but it began with my passion for animals almost 20 years ago and I wanted to learn exactly how our food got from farm to table.  That was bad news….  A lots happened since then (the part I won’t get into here) but now there is so much more I know about food as  a whole and it sickens me what our government (FDA, USDA, etc.) allows in our food system.  I absolutely have NO trust in them AT ALL to feed us healthy food.  Right now heads of Monsanto are running the FDA and USDA, this is very sad and scary and we the people are going to have to take matters into our own hands by seeking out locally grown fruits and vegetables, finding our local farmers and ranchers for our grass-fed, free roaming meats and dairy products to ensure they are nutrient rich and not laden with chemicals, pesticides and hormones.  Many other countries have banned these things from their food, yet the US will not. I don’t know what the reasons are, we can speculate a number of things from lobbyists to big business to not wanting to change due to layoffs. Whatever.  I just feel that EVERYONE in this country should have the ability to walk into any grocery store and not have to worry about what’s in their milk, on their oranges. To me it’s very sad.

This is just a snippet of how I feel on this topic but you can clearly see that I don’t listen to the government about what’s good for us in the food department. Better re-think those Got Milk ads!

Times Up!
This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

I’m deliriously excited!  Arriving in San Francisco in 17 hours! I’m completely embracing turning 40 in NINE days and I’m starting off the celebration with some personal time in Big Sur, CA, all alone in the trees then I’ll join some of my very best girlfriends three days later for some time in wine country!  This is not my first time here, but I can’t get enough of Northern California, the coast, the country, the unbelievable availability of fresh, locally produced foods.

Right now I have no idea how exactly I plan on spending my alone time, as this is somewhat uncomfortable for me. Rain is predicted on Tuesday and Big Sur is not a place you want to be tooling around in a possible downpour, so I’m planning on spending the day in. The house I’m staying in, The Rainbow House, is a 10 minute or so hike up a steep incline in the trees and I’ve been told that a pack on your back with all food and clothes needed is recommended. Ok then. A quick stop in Carmel on my way there will provide me with all my provisions. I’ve loaded up my I-tunes and Kindle, packed lots of hot tea and a rosemary/mint candle, I’m ready!!

Thursday morning I head back up to San Francisco to pick up my girlies at the airport and we head up to Guerneville, Russian River area! See I’m not a Napa girl. I love the Russian River, Guerneville, Healdsburg, and Sonoma. We have a beautiful home in the hills there. Friday I’ve scheduled a bike ride through Healdsburg stopping at four wineries and a picnic lunch in between and the Saturday we’ll spend some time at MacLeod Family Vineyard again, a private tasting in the vineyard then onto Sonoma Plaza for lunch at Girl and the Fig. After lunch we’ll continue onto some of my faves like Viansa and Cline.

Sunday We’ll breathe deeply in Jenner. The coast here is unforgettable! Ahhhh….!!!

Times Up!
This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

So far the new year has been jam packed with new and continuing goals around the homestead. I’ve already tackled my first poached egg, (not really a goal, but an added bonus), my first time making home-made pasta too. It was really good and I loved making it. Making ravioli tomorrow filled with Cashel Blue and Mascarpone cheese. Hello!

This weekend we got our butts in the pasture and dug out our fire pit, got some nice flat stones today to build the walls around it. One more trip to the stone house and it should be complete. Smores around the campfire here we come, and at home:-). Not that this will stop us from fleeing to the mountains, no way. Still have that itch. We were just talking about how we need to go ahead and schedule a trip to Black Rock Mountain in Clayton, Ga. Love it there.

The kids got bikes finally and Gavin mastered riding in about half a day and loves it, yay! Addy is really good at crashing so far, but she’s tough and laughs it off. She’s also learning piano now and really loves that.

So, I feel like we 2012 is really off to a good start for us. I hope it is for you too!
Peace!

Times Up!

This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Well it’s been almost a month since I posted. Lot’s happening with still getting settled, Thanksgiving, a family cruise (early X-mas gift) and now getting ready for heading to NY for Christmas. Wow. It certainly doesn’t feel like the holidays here in Florida, it’s still in the upper 70′s, low 80′s most days and humid. UGH. NY’s 40′s will be welcome for the week we’ll be there and then I’ll be happy to get back to our very moderate temperatures, ha!

I’ve been playing the Sounds of the Season non-stop, we’ve been watching holiday movies, most gifts are ready. My son is 10 this year and his list is short and pricey. An I-pod touch and this AR Drone flyer thingy at Brookstone. It’s $300! I think a lesson is coming for him this year, we got him a $50 gift certificate instead of the whole thing. He can use X-mas money and other savings for the rest. Will he be upset, yes. Hopefully it won’t ruin everyone’s day.

We’ll see.

Times Up!

This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

This morning I opened up Facebook and one of the first posts I saw was from a high school friend. She had linked to video of Eddie Vedder (of Pearl Jam) singing Black. This got me on a music/Eddie Vedder/ U2 (my favorite band) kick. See, music has always been a large part of my life. I’d lock myself in my room and listen to the same songs over and over again until I had every lyric memorized. U2 I hold especially dear to me, as they did a lot of hand holding during my teenage years. Seriously, they got me through that crazy time of adolescence. Anyway, I’ve always really listened to lyrics, some songs are more relatable than others. One of my favorites I came across this morning is Society by Eddie Vedder, pull it up if you’ve never heard it. Also by Eddie Vedder, Breathe. I’m leaving you with the lyrics, very moving!

Just Breathe Lyrics:

Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love

Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh

Stay with me
Let’s just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win, aw huh
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh
Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world
To make me bleed.

Stay with me
You’re all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see
No one knows this more than me
As I come clean

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw huh
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see

No one know this more than me.
As I come clean

Nothing you would take everything you gave.
Hold me till I die
Meet you on the other side

Times Up!

This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Yep, I guess we all do, here’s mine. Over the last year and a half I’ve built some walls. I’ve never had walls before, but something happened and I was hurt once too many times and they went up. I never even understood when people told me they had walls, I understood what that word represented, but I couldn’t understand how they couldn’t move past it, break it down. Now I do and I hate it. The wall, though initially was built as a barrier from a couple has now risen taller and is invading things in my life I don’t want it to touch. I feel incapable of busting through it. I feel suffocated, sad, yet have so much to be happy and joyful about. I’m trying to breathe, let things pass to no avail. I have emotions that though I feel them swelling, the need for them to bust out, I can’t seem to physically allow them to. What the heck? I used to be this open book of emotions and now they are all tied up inside me, causing this wall to grow. Is the first step acknowledgment, because I have that down?

Times Up!

This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all.things.fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

PFman and I have been sitting here this morning watching the 9/11 memorial and talking to our 10 year old son about what happened that morning. He was at work that day, I was at home with a three month old baby boy. I got the phone call from PFman after the 2nd plane hit to turn on the TV, I had been changing Gavin’s diaper. My family is from NY, and at the time my sister, niece and husband lived and worked in the city. Having been born in NY, We’ve visited almost every year since I was a kid. It’s a place that’s very near and dear to me. How emotional it was that morning with a new baby to watch those buildings come down, coupled with the worry that family members were out of harms way. I packed up and took baby Gavin to be with daddy at work. He works in media and everyone was gathered around the TV.

I feel lucky to have seen those towers stand and to have stood at the top of them on a trip to NY in 1995. I have pictures of PFman and I on the observation deck during this trip prior to being married. My thoughts go out to those who lost loved ones on this day. It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years!

Times Up!

This has been my Sunday 5 minute Stream of Consciousness.

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

* Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
* Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
* Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
* Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
* Link up your post at all. things. fadra.
* Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.